25

Just had the thought that I'm about to be a 25 year old Captain who has led troops in combat, who owns his own home, has investments, at 25 paid off his student loans, a large chunk of his mortgage, his credit cards, and a starter loan while heavily investing in stocks and mutual funds...And I couldn't be more single on Valentine's Day. I think it's just because I'm an asshole. At least according to the last two girlfriends...make that last three.

Needed Words

Today at church we had communion. After two very depressing, discouraging and exhausting weeks I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually begging God to take me away from it all. As the crackers and juice were being passed out, I was praying extremely fervently. Then clear as a bell I heard five words from God.

Shut up!

...I love you

That's all I needed. Tears nearly came. Pain washed away. Joy flooded back.

Thank you.

New Year

2010 was a year of stress, fear, disappointment, loss, change for the worse, breakups, heart breaks and depression. 2011 is a new start and new beginning with a lot of new possibilities. I had hoped there'd be a chance to start a new relationship soon, but not so much. Oh well. She gave up on it, just like the others, so whatever. I'm making the decision to move on and never think of her as relationship material ever again. This is probably a good thing because the last four times our families have gotten together and we've both been there I've had my heart broken. Not a good pattern at all. The first time, the day after she told me her parents didn't have a peace about us dating. The second time, the day after she told me we couldn't see each other. The third time, the day after she told me we couldn't even talk at all. And this time at the end of the visit she told me that I needed to move on.

New rank, new job, new career are expected this year. I'm excited. Who knows, maybe I'll find a great girl to add new relationship to the list. One can only hope.